The Missing Migraine
One of my favourite EFT discoveries is that when we release negative beliefs or heavy emotions that might have something to do with dis-stress or dis-ease the body is feeling – pain may just go away.
Releasing the emotions that may, at least partially, be creating the pain, as well as relieving the emotions that usually accompany having pain in the body, can not only relieve symptoms, it can increase the quality of many people’s lives.
I love to use EFT to help people who are afraid of speaking in public or who have performance anxiety. EFT quite often helps people who are severely limited in pursuing their dreams in the performing arts arena. My work with theatre folks is what connected me to a theatre mom named Sharon and her migraine. Her name has been changed for this article to protect the innocent.
Sharon was not a client. We both just happened to be in the same place at the same time and she happened to have “one of those” migraines. She didn’t think she could do anything to make “that thing” go away.
I was teaching EFT at a weekend Performance Anxiety workshop, sponsored by a prominentsinging school. I was working with a group of about thirty people. We were addressing fear of singing, dancing, microphones and other issues that are related to performing in public.
I had just finished teaching and noticed that Sharon, who was going to teach Stage Presence and Stage Make-Up, was standing outside holding her head. She was in a very agitated state and she was due on stage in twenty five minutes.
I left the workshop and went outside to ask her if I could help. She had “one of those” migraines, she said, and she didn’t know how she was going to teach. I asked if she would like to try something that couldn’t hurt her and might actually get rid of her headache.
I also told her it might be a bit strange to her. She said, “Yes.”
There was no diagnosis or talk of curing or healing the body. My goal was to release any heavy emotions and negative beliefs that might have had something to do with her pain.
I knew a little about her life as a stage mother and supporter of theatre. She did everything from costumes and makeup to directing and being active as a stage mother for her own teenage daughters as well as many other theatre folks of all ages. I had never seen this woman when she wasn’t busy taking care of someone else. We only had twenty five minutes before she was scheduled to teach, so I quickly began talking her through EFT, using my intuition and the information I already knew about her life.
It was not a usual client situation.
We tapped on the various EFT points while saying,
“Even though I have this head full of everybody else, no room for me. No room for what I want. I don’t even know what I want. Head full of things to do. Never enough time. No time for me. Head full of kids. Head full of costume making. Head full of helping, helping, helping, always helping other people. So much to do, so little time. Even though all these things are true, I deeply and profoundly accept myself.”
After only a few minutes, she was laughing at some of the things I said, nodding her head at some, and adamant about others. Some of these were on target and were serious business. While some of what I said was probably not right at all, I knew we were addressing some pertinent issues.
When we stopped, after about five to seven minutes of continual tapping, her headache had gone from a 10 to a 4 or 5 on the Intensity Meter.
In EFT, we create an Intensity Meter to tell us whether an issue has gotten better or worse. The Intensity Meter measures the emotional intensity generated when we tune into a problem. The rating is from zero to ten, with zero being no intensity at all and ten being the worst intensity. If the issue or situation doesn’t bother you at all, it is a zero.
After the initial tapping, I asked her how she felt, if the headache had moved and how it might be different. Using the knowledge I had just gained from checking in with her, we then tapped on,
“Even though there is no room for me, I gotta make room for me, get rid of some of these people in my head and let myself into my OWN HEAD and MY OWN LIFE. Too many people in MY head. Let them live in their own head for a while. I need me in my head. I’m gonna fill my own head. I’m taking care of MYself now. It is time. It is important. Putting me back in my OWN head. I still love them, but I need me now. And that’s okay and all right. Making space in my head for ME. Space in my head. All those things I’m supposed to do for everybody else are clearing out and making room for ME.”
The whole time we were saying these words, we were lightly tapping on the EFT points. We found ourselves both letting go of a big sigh and making that wonderful sound of relief, “ahhhh.”
Her relief was obvious. She was laughing a bit more and instead of holding her head, she was shaking her head in disbelief. This was NOT within her belief system of how things should work. I knew that, and that was all right with me. I simply wanted to help her get rid of her headache so she could teach the workshop in comfort.
When we checked her Intensity Meter, it was a two. At that point, she said the key words that continually amaze me. She said something like,
“I feel much better. I can cope with this now.”
At this point, Sharon started to walk away from me. I gently took her by the arm, turned her toward me and said,
“Do you want to cope or do you want to get rid of it?” We can probably just get rid of it, you know.”
She stopped and looked at me. She was shocked. That had not occurred to her at all. We did a couple more minutes of EFT, including,
“Even though I don’t know how to nurture ME, maybe it’s time to learn. How can I take care of so many others if I’m so depleted? It is a good thing to take care of myself. My head is filling with me right now. Just me in my head. They can take care of themselves for a little while. Time to nurture me. It’s my turn. I deeply and profoundly accept myself.”
When I checked in with her, her headache was totally gone. The migraine was missing.
This is not an isolated incident. Sometimes I won’t even know my clients are in pain. We’ll be working on an emotional issue or a negative belief pattern and they will mention that their headache is gone, or their knee doesn’t hurt anymore.
I want you to pay particular attention to Sharon’s, “I can cope with this.” How many times in the past have we attempted to heal something, to let go of a trauma or memory that haunts us? After a while, we might give up. We might decide that if we can just get rid of the pain enough to cope, maybe that is as good as it gets.
The fact is that it might be a lot easier for you to rid yourself of those old traumas, fears and heavy emotions now than ever before. With EFT, of course.
Maggie Adkins, EFT Founding Master